My Dreams Are Now Directed by God (and Co-Starring Karen from HR)

With all the interview circus I’ve been navigating lately, my dreams have stopped being dreams and started feeling like full-length movies—written by my anxiety, directed by God, and with a special guest appearance by Karen from HR in every other scene.

Last night’s dream? A psychological thriller with light comedy and spiritual undertones.

I’m in a massive conference room. Think: sleek glass walls, uncomfortable chairs, bad fluorescent lighting—the whole modern soul-sucking vibe. I’m wearing a blazer that fits perfectly, which is how I know it’s a dream.

Across from me sit five interviewers. Their name tags say things like “Director of Vibes,” “Culture Captain,” and “Spiritual Alignment Coordinator.” One of them is a raccoon in a tie. I’m too stressed to ask questions.

Then Karen walks in. She’s got a clipboard, resting HR face, and enough passive aggression to start a small fire.

She says, “Alex, we’d love to hear how you handle rejection.”

I smile politely and say, “Oh, with grace, prayer, and 2.5 bags of spicy chips in the dark.”

The raccoon nods in approval.

Then the lights flicker, and suddenly—I’m outside. Barefoot. In a desert. There’s a sign that says “Now Hiring: Purpose.”

And I hear a voice.

Not the booming, theatrical kind.

More like Morgan Freeman meets your grandma’s soup recipe.

It says, “This isn’t about the job, Alex. This is about who you’re becoming while you wait.”

I look up and say, “Okay God, but while we’re becoming—can we also become employed?”

No answer.

Just a breeze that smells like burnt coffee and opportunity.

Then I’m back in the office. Everyone’s clapping.

Brad the emotional support mouse is on a tiny podium holding a certificate that says “Best Teammate.”

Karen’s chair breaks mid-sentence. She pops up and says, “I’m okay!”

I look around and realize—the real job interview was internal.

God was the hiring manager the whole time.

Woke up at 3:47 AM in a cold sweat and a hoodie that smells like hope.

Moral of the story?

If your dreams feel weird lately, it’s because Heaven’s in pre-production.

God’s got final cut on your story.

You’re not lost—you’re just in the character development montage.

And when it’s time for your breakthrough, the doors won’t just open—they’ll swing so wide even Karen won’t need a keycard.

Until then?

Pray.

Apply.

Laugh.

And let God keep writing the script.

Just tell Him to dial down the raccoons.