“Hi Alex, I’m Allie — Your AI Assistant From a Job You Forgot Existed” An awkward reintroduction brought to you by delayed algorithms, buried résumés, and emotional whiplash.

I was minding my own business, halfway through a coffee that tasted like disappointment and misplaced ambition, when I got the text.

“Hi Alex! I’m Allie, the AI event assistant for Aramark. We are hosting an in-person event on June 16, 2025 from 10:00 AM - 03:00 PM EDT and I wanted to see if you’re interested in registering for the event. Would you like to learn more?”

First of all: rude.

Second of all: Allie?

I stared at my phone like it had just whispered a secret from the past.

Aramark? I hadn’t heard that name since… I don’t even know. 2024? Possibly 2023? It was back when I still believed in the power of a good cover letter and used the phrase “team synergy” unironically.

I had applied for that job so long ago, the résumé I submitted was in a different file format. Possibly papyrus.

And now, here comes Allie—AI assistant, professional ghost reawakener, and digital ambassador of delayed reactions—texting me like we’ve been chatting this whole time.

“Would you like to learn more?”

Allie. Babe.

I barely remember applying.

That job application is older than my last therapist.

At this point, your message feels less like a career opportunity and more like a long-lost friend popping up with a pyramid scheme.

But I was intrigued.

The sheer audacity of it. The algorithmic boldness.

Imagine applying to a job, getting ghosted for 14 months, and then receiving a cheerful text like nothing happened.

It’s the corporate equivalent of someone who left you on read suddenly texting:

“Hey stranger 👋 Wanna go to a networking event I forgot to tell you about during our actual relationship?”

I nearly RSVP’d out of respect for Allie’s hustle.

Still, I had questions.

Am I still being considered?

Was this some cruel HR scavenger hunt?

Or is Allie just working her way down a list of forgotten applicants, trying to revive the dream like a robot doing CPR on my résumé?

Whatever it was, I had to admire it.

In an age of silent rejections and ghosting with the speed of a Tinder swipe, at least Allie showed up.

She may be a bot, but she communicates.

So yes, Allie.

Let’s “learn more.”

Let’s go to this event that may or may not be for a job I forgot I wanted.

Let’s pretend this is 2023 again and my LinkedIn notifications still sparked joy.

I’ll show up with a smile, a stack of business cards, and the energy of someone who’s been stood up by corporate America but still decided to wear nice shoes.

Because at the end of the day, closure is closure—even if it comes via automated text.

And if this is how I finally land a job?

Then Allie, you beautiful delayed angel of employment…

You’re invited to the onboarding party.