Where Did You Go After You Got Hired? A Love Letter to the Ghosts of LinkedIn Past
- Alex Pyatkovsky
- Jun 16
- 2 min read
You know what no one talks about?
The moment someone gets a job… and vanishes.
Gone. Poof.
Like a magician pulling a disappearing act using health insurance and a 401(k) match.
Before that? Oh, they were everywhere.
They were liking every post, DM’ing you their résumé, commenting, “Ugh SAME,” and trauma-dumping their 47th ghosting of the week like it was group therapy with a LinkedIn login.
“I just got ghosted mid-Zoom call.”
“A recruiter asked me to submit a ‘personality-themed’ PowerPoint deck, then never followed up.”
“I applied to a role three times. The system told me to ‘calm down.’”
And I’d nod.
Heart react.
Welcome them into the sacred circle of the unemployed and emotionally overcooked.
We bonded over rejection emails, resumé tweaks, and our shared belief that “per my last email” is corporate for “fight me.”
But then… something changes.
They get a job.
Suddenly, their profile says “Excited to start a new chapter!”
And like that, they vanish.
No more comments.
No more “how’s the search going?”
No more sharing memes about submitting your résumé 32 times to the same company because “maybe this time it’ll go through.”
Now it’s nothing but:
“Excited to announce my new role at Synergy Vortex LLC!”
[Insert photo of branded mug, succulent, and ring light]
Listen, I get it.
You’re busy.
You’re onboarding.
You’re trying to remember how to send a calendar invite without accidentally booking a meeting with the CEO at midnight.
But don’t forget the LinkedIn trenches.
The weird little world we built here—where Brad the emotionally stable mouse was our mascot, coffee was our coping mechanism, and every “Thanks but no thanks” email felt like a personal attack on our childhood dreams.
Don’t forget the ones who encouraged you when your confidence was in the same condition as your credit score.
Because guess what?
You’ll probably be back.
Whether it’s due to another round of layoffs, a “restructure,” or the moment you realize your “dream job” comes with mandatory karaoke and a team-building offsite in a corn maze.
And when that day comes?
We’ll still be here.
Posting.
Laughing.
Applying to jobs with requirements like:
“Must be fluent in Excel, HTML, and emotional repression.”
So to the newly hired:
We’re happy for you.
We really are.
But maybe… pop back in every once in a while?
Leave a comment.
Send a meme.
Remind us that people do make it out of the inbox alive.
Because the real ones don’t just post when they’re hired—
They stay for the chaos.
And for that,
we salute you.
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