The Referral That Never Was

So there I am, minding my job-hunting business, living off coffee and audacity, when I finally get a call from a hiring manager. You know—the kind of call that makes you sit up straighter even though you’re in pajama pants and haven’t made eye contact with hope since 2022.

She sounds lovely. Warm voice. Slight Southern drawl. The kind of tone that makes you think she’s about to offer you a job and a slice of peach cobbler.

She says, “Alex, I just want to tell you—you are great. Like really great. You’re not just a fit, you’re a vibe. Now, I’m going to pass your info to our other team. They’re going to call you directly.”

I practically floated off my couch. I texted Brad the emotionally stable mouse. I lit a candle. I even closed my 73 browser tabs like I was finally about to have my life together.

So I wait.

And I wait.

And I wait like it’s the world’s most disappointing game of hide-and-seek.

A week goes by. Then two. Suddenly, I’m doubting the entire conversation. Was it a dream? Did I hallucinate a recruiter out of LinkedIn despair and caffeine deficiency? Did she mean “pass my info” like… to the trash can?

I check my phone like I’m waiting for a prom date that never shows. I refresh my email like I’m launching a rocket. I even rehearse what I’ll say when they finally call:

“Oh hey, no big deal, I’ve just been—haha—casually available, emotionally stable, and deeply unemployed!”

But the call?

Never came.

And I realized… I had been Referral Ghosted™.

That sweet hiring manager didn’t pass my name along.

She passed me off like a hot potato in a room full of people who weren’t even playing the game.

It was the professional version of, “We should totally hang out sometime!” with the sincerity of a toddler promising not to eat crayons again.

Lesson learned?

If someone says, “You’re great, I’m passing you along,” just smile, nod, and add a new folder to your inbox called “Lies From LinkedIn.”

Because at this point, I’m not job hunting.

I’m collecting stories.

And this one? This one’s filed under:

“Definitely didn’t pass GO, still waiting for $200, and apparently peach cobbler was a lie too.”