The Gmail Scam

There’s truly nothing like waking up, stretching, sipping your coffee, and finding an “exclusive opportunity” waiting for you in your messages. You know the type — the ones that start with “I came across your profile and believe you’d be a strong candidate,” and end with “please send your résumé to a Gmail address that sounds like it was created during a sleep-deprived snack binge at 2 a.m.”

This one really nailed it: “johnsonginab@gmail.com.” Because, obviously, when a world-class company like Salesforce recruits talent, they do it through an email address that looks like someone’s old AIM screen name from 2004.

And of course, there’s the classic line: “This position closes within 24 hours.” Ah yes, the job market is apparently now operating like a limited-time offer on a home shopping channel. Better act fast before they throw in a free set of steak knives.

It’s always the same formula. Urgent deadline. Mysterious Gmail account. Job description that sounds like it was written by an AI after three shots of espresso. And a recruiter profile picture that looks suspiciously like it came from the first page of a stock photo site titled “Professional People Who Definitely Don’t Exist.”

You’re sitting there in your pajama pants, trying to remember if you even applied for this job, and suddenly you find yourself questioning everything. Did I actually apply? Did I black out and decide to move to Ohio to become a Business Process Manager? Is this what my higher self had in mind?

Scammers know exactly what they’re doing. They know you’re tired. They know you’ve sent out fifty applications this week and heard back from exactly two robots and one vague “we’ll keep your résumé on file” auto-response. They know there’s that small spark of hope inside you that wants to believe this is finally it.

But here’s the thing: a real recruiter from a real company will never, ever ask you to send personal information to a sketchy Gmail address. They will not rush you like you’re in a midnight infomercial countdown. They will not write to you with the same tone as a fake prince offering gold in exchange for your bank routing number.

So, to all the job seekers out there, keep your guard up. You are worth more than a Gmail hustle. You deserve a real offer letter, a real connection, a real chance — not a copy-paste scam designed to steal your data and your energy.

Stay vigilant. Check every link twice. Google every email. Trust your gut. And remember: if it smells like a scam, looks like a scam, and uses a Gmail account that sounds like a teenage Fortnite username, it’s a scam.

Keep going. Keep applying. And keep laughing at these ridiculous messages instead of falling for them. You’re smarter than these scammers give you credit for, and your real opportunity is out there — one that won’t demand you reply in the next 24 hours like you’re buying concert tickets.

Onward, legends. We rise, eyes open, no Gmail scams allowed.