Stop DMING me “BUILD”

This morning I saw a post from a beautiful girl in her pajamas, hair perfectly “messy” in that “I spent $200 on texturizing spray to look natural” way, holding a mug that probably says “Rise & Manifest.”

Caption? “You’re posting every day. Sharing your thoughts. Your expertise. Your story. But it’s quiet. No likes. No leads. No DMs asking to work with you. Send me a DM saying ‘BUILD’ and I’ll show you how to get noticed and paid online.”

Ma’am… I thought you were about to sell me a discount candle set or a coupon for a face mist that smells like moonlight and self-esteem. But no. She’s here to fix my personal brand before I’ve even finished my first questionable cup of off-brand coffee.

She wants me to DM “BUILD” like it’s some Hogwarts spell. I almost messaged “EXPELLIARMUS” just to see what would happen.

She promises that after working with her, I’ll never have to chase leads again. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to chase down Recruiter Karen who ghosted me after I did three interviews, a personality quiz, and a full PowerPoint presentation on “Why I Deserve to Be Paid in Actual Money.”

Karen was so excited in round one: “We LOVE your energy!” In round two: “You’re exactly what we’re looking for!” Round three? Karen vanishes like my paycheck at Target. She’s probably off somewhere writing a passive-aggressive Yelp review about her latte foam art.

Then there’s that one job application that demanded a “video cover letter” where I had to describe my professional superpower and spirit animal in under 90 seconds. I gave them Oscar-worthy vulnerability, edited to perfection… and still got ghosted.

She says, “No DMs? No problem!” Ma’am, my last DM was from some crypto bro asking if I’m “ready to achieve true financial freedom by selling digital hamster hats.”

She claims she’ll make you “seen.” Girl, I’m so “seen” by algorithm ads that even my toaster knows I’m looking for work.

I imagine if I actually sent her “BUILD,” she’d reply with a 42-page PDF called “How to Unlock Your Inner Monetized Mermaid Energy” and invite me to a $15,000 retreat on a yacht named “Abundance.” We’d be up at sunrise journaling about our “thought leadership chakras” while Karen, freshly unghosted, judges my affirmation chanting technique.

But here’s the truth: I’ll keep showing up. I’ll keep posting my awkward jokes, my half-inspirational rants, my tales of interview heartbreak, and my daily “Dear Universe, please send carbs and clarity” prayers.

Because real growth doesn’t come from a DM shortcut or a pajama influencer promise. It comes from laughing at your own typos, crying over another “Thanks but no thanks” email, and realizing you can’t be ghosted by the wrong people forever.

So to Miss Pajama Manifestor — I see you. And to every ghosted warrior out here, still hitting “apply,” still dodging Karens, still keeping the dream alive with memes and caffeine — I see you too.

Keep going. Keep laughing. And for the love of all things holy, don’t DM “BUILD.” You’re already building something incredible just by being you.