Sorry Karen

So a while back I had an interview with Karen and Chad.

Yes. The duo. The corporate Batman and Robin—but if Batman was passive-aggressive and Robin majored in “Team Player Energy” with a minor in Sales Buzzwords.

It started the moment I logged into the Zoom. Karen’s camera was angled like she was filming an episode of “Dateline,” and Chad had that smug airpod-in-one-ear, leaning back like he invented leadership kind of posture.

Karen opens with,

“Hi Alex! Don’t worry—I’m one of the good Karens!”

Ah. Classic. The HR equivalent of “I swear I’m not like other girls” but with more Excel spreadsheets and unresolved control issues.

She flashes me the signature HR smile—you know the one. Like her face is trying to escape the conversation. The type of smile that says “I’ll mark you as a ‘maybe’ because you blinked too slowly when I asked about company culture.”

Then Chad jumps in, armed with his favorite LinkedIn phrases.

“We’re looking for a culture fit. Someone hungry. Scrappy. Nimble.”

Sir. Am I applying for a job or auditioning to be a squirrel?

Five minutes in, they ask me the most vague, overused question in all of corporate history:

“Tell us about a time you overcame a challenge.”

I say, “This one?”

Karen does a slow blink like she’s buffering.

And then… just when I think I’m killing it, Karen leans in, lowers her voice like she’s about to reveal where the Ark of the Covenant is hidden, and says:

“Just a quick note, Alex—we ask that you don’t post about this interview on LinkedIn.”

I say, “Wait, like… ever?”

“Yes. We’ve had people share… their experiences. And it affected their chances.”

Chad adds,

“Transparency is good, but… only in approved, enthusiastic formats.”

Ohhh. So what you’re saying is—I can scream from the rooftops if I’m hired and the vibes are immaculate. But if the interview is a corporate escape room with no clues? Mum’s the word.

Sorry, Karen. I wasn’t born with this much sarcasm and therapy debt to suffer in silence.

Anyway, they thank me, smile with their teeth but not their souls, and promise to “circle back.”

Which in corporate means: “You will never hear from us again, but we will continue to view your LinkedIn profile like it’s a Netflix docuseries.”

Two weeks later? I get the dreaded email:

“Hi Alex, after careful consideration…”

Sure, Karen. You “carefully considered” my fate between a catered lunch and liking a post about “radical candor.”

Meanwhile, Chad reposted a Gary Vee quote that just says “Be undeniable.”

So I did what any mature, composed job seeker would do.

I made a post.

A vague one.

One of those spicy, passive-aggressive classics like:

“Not every ‘no’ is a loss. Sometimes it’s just a divine redirection away from awkward Zooms and unpaid vibes.”

And guess who viewed it?

Karen.

So now my résumé reads:

“Interviewed with a ‘good Karen’ and her sidekick Chad. Survived rejection, dodged a compliance threat, and posted anyway.”

LinkedIn in 2025, baby.

Where interviews come with NDAs, your vibe gets reference-checked, and HR’s biggest fear… is being the main character.