Plot Twist

Ever have one of those days that just feels… suspiciously smooth?

Like, you wake up before your alarm, your coffee tastes like it was brewed by angels, traffic parts like the Red Sea, and everyone in the group chat is being nice for no reason. You start thinking:

“Wow. God really said, ‘This one’s for you, champ.’”

That was me—Tuesday.

I woke up feeling like I was the main character.

Did my morning routine. No spills, no drama.

I even found matching socks on the first try, which in my world is basically a divine sign of favor.

I get in my car, and the check engine light?

Off.

The radio? Playing exactly the right song.

I hit every green light like I had a personal traffic angel assigned to my route.

And I’m like,

“Okay, God. I see You. Is this the breakthrough week? A job offer? A financial blessing? Is my miracle in motion?”

I should’ve known.

This was the calm before the spiritual sitcom.

Around noon, I get a call from a recruiter I completely forgot I applied with.

She says,

“Hi! We loved your resume and would love to chat for a few minutes.”

I sit up straight. I clear my throat. I put on my “I totally have it together” voice.

Everything’s going great. She’s laughing. We’re vibing.

She says,

“Wow, you sound like such a perfect fit for our culture!”

And then…

Plot. Twist.

She says,

“Just one more thing—can you hang tight for a moment? I’m going to bring my manager onto the call.”

I say, “Of course!”

I wait.

And then, I hear a third voice:

Karen.

Not a regular Karen.

Corporate Karen.

The kind who starts sentences with, “I just want to level-set expectations…” and ends them with disappointment.

Karen comes in hot:

“Hi Alex, just a few clarifying questions. Can you tell me more about the gap in your employment from 2023 to early 2024?”

I explain politely: layoffs, restructuring, the economy, Earth being on fire.

Karen pauses and says:

“Hmm. That’s concerning.”

Concerning?

Karen, I survived an economic collapse, three rounds of ghosting, and the spiritual warfare that is online job applications.

I should get a medal, not a red flag.

She thanks me and says they’ll “circle back.”

We all know what that means. I haven’t heard a thing since.

But wait—there’s more.

I go to make lunch to shake it off, only to discover my fridge died.

Everything inside? Gone.

My emotional support string cheese? Sweating like it just got bad news.

So now I’m standing in my kitchen, unemployed, rejected, and holding a gallon of milk that smells like betrayal, thinking:

“God… what happened to the vibe we had this morning?”

And I swear I heard heaven whisper:

“Character development.”

Plot twist, indeed.

But you know what?

Even on the days that swerve off the rails, I still laugh.

Because if life won’t go as planned, the least I can do is make it entertaining.

So if your day started in peace and ended in a sitcom…

You’re not alone.

Grab a seat. We’re all in this episode together.