Not tonight, Satan

The other night, I decided to have a little talk with God.

Not a dramatic, stormy-night-in-the-desert kind of talk—more like a “Lord, it’s me again… trying not to spiral while I refresh my inbox for the 47th time” type of vibe.

I lit a candle. Turned off the TV. Put on one of those instrumental playlists that makes you feel like your prayer has a soundtrack.

And I said, with full sincerity:

“God, I’m trusting You. I don’t know how, I don’t know when… but I believe something is coming.”

I closed my eyes. Took a deep breath.

And right then—ding

Phone lights up.

Subject line: “Re: Your Application Status.”

And who’s it from?

Karen.

Of course it’s from Karen.

The same Karen who told me I was a “top candidate.”

The same Karen who smiled through two Zoom interviews and said, “You’d be such a great culture fit!”

Now Karen wants to inform me that they’ve decided to go in a different direction.

Not tonight, Satan. Not. Tonight.

You ever try to pray through a rejection email?

You’re mid-monologue with the Lord and suddenly you’re quoting Psalm 23 while fighting the urge to quote Liam Neeson from Taken.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the jobless…”

“…I will fear no ghosting.”

Meanwhile, Karen’s email says, “We were impressed with your background.”

Ma’am.

You were impressed? Then why am I still unemployed and talking to God like I’m in a Nicholas Sparks movie?

I tried to refocus.

“Okay, Lord. Maybe this wasn’t the job You had for me. Maybe You’re protecting me from something I can’t see…”

Ding.

Second email. Another rejection.

At this point I’m like, “God, blink twice if You’re trying to tell me to start a landscaping business.”

I sit in silence, phone flipped upside down, trying to find my peace again.

Then I hear a small voice in my heart—not audible, but just enough:

“If only one yes matters… then why are you letting two no’s ruin your night?”

Whew. Okay, Holy Spirit. You didn’t have to drag me like that.

Here’s what I’m learning:

Sometimes the silence is the answer.

Sometimes the rejections are divine redirects.

And sometimes, even when you’re trying to get a word from God… Karen still finds a way to ruin your mood.

But I’m not quitting.

Because if the devil can use email, I can use faith and Wi-Fi.

To whoever needs to hear this:

The job didn’t fall through because you’re not good enough.

It fell through because something better didn’t return God’s call yet.

So tonight, I’ll light the candle again.

Say my little prayer.

And this time, I’m muting my notifications.

Karen can wait.