Not all wings are white

We’re all angels.

But let’s not pretend we’re all Gabriel blowing trumpets and floating through clouds like spiritual backup dancers.

No.

Some of us are… realistic angels.

Messy-winged, coffee-powered, still-waiting-on-a-breakthrough type of angels.

So I started thinking—if there are different types of angels, which one am I?

And the answer is simple:

I’m the “Still Waiting for a Recruiter to Call Me Back” Angel.

I don’t have a halo. I have a Bluetooth headset and emotional damage.

Here’s the full cast of modern angels, in case you’re wondering where you fit:

1. The Application Angel

This angel submits 37 job applications per day, cries in between Indeed tabs, and still somehow whispers “maybe this one’s different.”

She’s got wings made of recycled cover letters and unpaid internship trauma.

2. The Drive-Thru Angel

She prays over your Chick-fil-A fries, judges your Starbucks order, and knows the healing power of nuggets at 11 p.m.

She can speak in tongues—and combos.

“Do you want to upgrade to a large blessing today?”

3. The Can’t-Sleep Angel

Up at 2:47 a.m., scrolling Zillow with $6 in the bank account like:

“Let me see what $1.2M in Malibu would buy me. For vision board purposes.”

This angel hears from God… mostly through memes and TikTok.

4. The Passive-Aggressive Angel

Texts “per my last prayer…”

Fights spiritual warfare and group chat drama with the same intensity.

Blessed with holy discernment and petty instincts.

5. The Forgot-They-Were-Fasting Angel

This one is on Day 1 of a spiritual fast and already eating pretzels like they’re consecrated.

Was supposed to pray but accidentally binge-watched a Netflix docuseries called “Ghosted by HR.”

6. The Therapy Angel

Knows every Bible verse and every childhood wound.

Can quote Isaiah and Freud in the same sentence.

Tithes and cries.

Thinks healing is a personality type.

7. The Sunday Angel

Cries during worship.

Posts scripture in cursive on Instagram.

Then yells at strangers in traffic on Monday like,

“I said BLESSED day, sir!”

8. The Broken Printer Angel

You know the one.

Tries to help but makes everything worse.

Hands you a résumé with the formatting of a medieval scroll.

Means well. Still holy. But definitely unplugged something.

9. The Fed-Up Angel

Doesn’t smite anyone.

But absolutely filed a heavenly complaint about that coworker who says “let’s circle back” eight times in one Zoom.

This angel’s wings are made of sarcasm and caffeine.

10. The Background Angel

Not loud.

Not flashy.

But the reason your life hasn’t completely fallen apart.

She prays when no one else knows.

And probably made that casserole you’re still thinking about.

So… what kind of angel are you?

Me?

I’m the “if God doesn’t open a door soon, I’m gonna knock through the drywall” type.

But I still believe.

Still show up.

Still apply.

Still love people… even the ones who say “just manifest it.”

Because no matter what your halo looks like—polished, cracked, or held together with duct tape and scripture—you’re still walking proof that grace is weird, funny, and very much alive.

Now fly, little angel.

Go reheat your coffee and keep going.