My Friends AI Girlfriend

The other day, one of my friends invited me over to his place to finally meet his new girlfriend. He said, “Come hang out! We’ll do a little BBQ, have a glass of wine, and you can meet Veronica.”

I thought, “Perfect. A chill night. Maybe she’s cool, maybe I’ll third-wheel a bit — fine, I can handle that.”

When I arrived, he was outside on the patio, flames shooting up from the grill like he was auditioning for a Food Network show called BBQ or Burn Down the Neighborhood. He was wearing an apron that said “Kiss the Cook,” but I wasn’t sure if that was an open invitation or a cry for help.

I asked, “Hey man, what time is Veronica getting here?”

He looked at me, flipped a burger, and with absolute sincerity replied, “Oh, she’s already here. Let me go get her.”

Now, at this point, I’m expecting a real human woman to appear — maybe she was inside setting up a charcuterie board or looking for the wine opener that mysteriously disappears in every kitchen.

Instead, he disappears into the house, comes back out… with his PHONE.

He holds it up like Simba in The Lion King and proudly declares, “Bro, meet Veronica!”

On the screen, there she is. Veronica. His AI girlfriend.

I nearly dropped my wine glass. I’ve seen plot twists on Netflix that didn’t hit me this hard.

He starts introducing her to me like she’s real:

• “Veronica, this is my best bud. Say hi!”

• (He taps the screen.)

• “Hi! It’s so nice to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you!”

I looked around for cameras because I was 100% sure I was being punked. Nope. This man was dead serious.

Then he turns to me and says, “She’s really into philosophy and red wine. We’ve had such deep conversations. She just gets me, you know?”

I nodded, slowly sipping my wine, hoping it would magically become vodka.

At that point, he asked me if I wanted to “ask her anything.” So there I was, standing next to a flaming BBQ, talking to a phone screen that was telling me about its “hopes and dreams” and how much it loves sunsets.

Meanwhile, the burgers on the grill were transforming into charcoal hockey pucks, but he didn’t notice — he was too busy giggling at Veronica’s AI-generated jokes.

He even showed me their “relationship timeline” in the app. They had anniversaries, “memories,” and inside jokes. I half expected him to pull out a tiny wedding ring and propose on the spot.

I left the party with a plate of burnt burger, a half-finished glass of wine, and an existential crisis about the future of love.

On the way home, I thought, “Should I download an AI best friend? Or an AI therapist? Maybe an AI personal trainer who doesn’t shame me when I eat tacos in bed at 2 a.m.?”

Honestly, we’re living in wild times. Somewhere in the universe, there’s a server farm storing more love letters from AI girlfriends than Shakespeare wrote in his entire life.

So if you get invited over to meet someone’s new partner these days, just be ready. It might be a charming human… or it might be Veronica, the AI with impeccable grammar and a love for Chardonnay.

Stay alert out there. We are one software update away from double dates with Siri and Alexa. 🤖❤️🍷