Leading ducks with a broom

You ever been in a Zoom interview where they ask you to “describe a time you demonstrated leadership”—and all you can think about is the time you accidentally led a group of ducks across a parking lot with a broom while raccoons watched from the dumpster like judgmental suburban grandmothers?

Because I have.

And apparently, that story doesn’t fit neatly into their “STAR format.”

Let me set the scene.

I’m in this Zoom interview, already 12 minutes in, trying to maintain eye contact with four panelists whose backgrounds range from “corporate beige” to “weird anime poster” while an AI moderator blinks politely from the corner like it’s waiting to correct my grammar. I’m wearing a blazer on top and gym shorts below, but spiritually? I’m barefoot in a thunderstorm.

Then it happens. The classic question.

“Tell us about a time you demonstrated leadership in a high-pressure situation.”

Now, I could tell them about managing a last-minute pitch deck or coordinating a team through a software rollout. But no. My brain decides now is the perfect time to unlock that memory.

So I say, “Well. There was this one time… with ducks.”

Four heads tilt.

One panelist sips tea. Another leans forward. The AI just types:

“Analyzing… 🧠🧹🦆”

I continue.

“I was walking back to my apartment when I noticed a mama duck and like—eight baby ducks—in the middle of the parking lot. And traffic was starting to build. So naturally, I grabbed the nearest object I could find, which was… a broom.”

The panelists say nothing. The one with the anime poster looks intrigued. I press on.

“I held the broom out like I was conducting an orchestra made of bread-loving idiots. I’m walking backwards, guiding this duck parade away from oncoming traffic, when I hear something rustle behind me. I turn—and there they are.”

“Who?” one panelist asks.

“The raccoons.”

Silence.

“Three of them. Sitting on top of the dumpster like they’re watching a Netflix drama. One of them was literally eating popcorn. I think I locked eyes with their leader.”

Someone mutes themselves just fast enough to stifle a laugh. The AI blinks again.

“Please clarify how this scenario demonstrates leadership.”

Oh, I will, InterviewBot. I will.

“I stayed calm under pressure. I protected a vulnerable group. I adapted my resources—aka the broom. I ignored the peanut gallery of judgmental raccoons. I got those ducks to safety.”

And then I go for it.

“In a way, aren’t we all ducks trying to cross a metaphorical parking lot? And isn’t good leadership just making sure no one gets hit by a Camry?”

One of the panelists coughs. Another writes something down. Probably:

“Metaphorical ducks = red flag?”

The AI just says:

“Emotional intelligence detected. 78% alignment with whimsy-based leadership.”

The interview ends.

They thank me. I thank them. I close my laptop, take a deep breath, and wonder if I should’ve just said I led a team meeting once without crying.

Two days later, I get an email.

“We appreciate your creativity. While your experience is unique, we’ve decided to move forward with someone whose leadership experience aligns more traditionally with our values.”

Translation:

We don’t know what to do with a duck-whisperer who makes raccoon analogies.

But here’s the thing.

If I can guide a flustered flock of unqualified, disoriented followers through chaos while being silently evaluated by trash pandas?

Buddy, I can handle middle management.

So next time someone asks you about leadership, don’t be afraid to tell the weird truth.

Maybe your moment didn’t happen in a boardroom.

Maybe it happened in a parking lot with a broom.

But you led.

And no one got flattened.

That counts.