Kayla 3: Ghost Protocol

“Because some spirits haunt you with silence… and a LinkedIn ‘Seen’ receipt.”

Let me set the stage.

It’s month seven of my job search. My résumé has been rewritten more times than the “Fast & Furious” franchise, and my optimism is hanging on by a single oat milk latte. That’s when I get the message:

“Hi Alex! 👋 I came across your profile and I think you’d be a GREAT fit for a leadership role we have coming up. Are you open to chatting this week?”

Her name?

Kayla.

If you’ve been following along since Kayla 1: The Rejection Awakens and Kayla 2: HR Strikes Back, you know Kayla is not just a recruiter. She’s a mythical force. A hiring mirage. The Patron Saint of “We’ll Circle Back.” And she’s back—with a new headset, a vague opportunity, and another round of emotional Jenga.

This time, she’s not playing.

We set up a screening call. I cancel brunch with my inner peace. She greets me with that perfectly professional tone that says, “I’m smiling, but also I have 47 other calls today and a deadline called ‘ASAP.’” The role? It’s “confidential” but “exciting,” and I’d “be leading a dynamic team of go-getters who really lean into the company values.”

I pretend to know what that means.

She says I’ve got “strong energy.”

I say I’ve got “a strong need for income.”

We laugh. It feels like a match.

Next steps? A panel interview. Then another panel interview. Then a PowerPoint on my leadership style. Then a personality test. Then an improv exercise. Then—just when I think we’re done—they ask me to write a 90-day strategy plan for a role they still haven’t technically offered me.

At this point, I’ve invested more effort into this process than I did into my last relationship.

But I’m locked in. I believe.

And then…

Silence.

No call.

No email.

Not even a “Thanks for playing.”

I follow up. Once.

Then twice.

Then I become the hiring equivalent of someone texting “hey” at 2:14 a.m. just to see if they’re still on Read.

Nothing.

Ghosted.

Again.

Kayla has vanished—likely off leading a yoga retreat for burned-out HR professionals who need to recharge their crystals before denying someone with 20 years of experience for “not aligning with our culture of whimsy.”

And I sit there, rereading my 90-day plan like a romantic letter to a job that never loved me back.

But here’s the thing, folks: this is the system now.

Ghosting isn’t the glitch—it’s the whole operating manual.

Companies are out here recruiting like they’re casting for The Bachelor.

“Can I see your resume again?”

“No.”

“Okay, please pack your PowerPoint and leave the Zoom.”

Somewhere in a fancy office that has both ping-pong tables and no dental coverage, Kayla is sipping cold brew and posting a motivational quote about resilience while I sit in the wreckage of yet another job that almost was.

But here’s what I’ve learned by Kayla 3:

If they ghost you, they were never your people.

If they need a 7-step Hunger Games-style obstacle course before deciding whether you’re worth a callback, they’re not building a team—they’re building a trauma bond.

And if Kayla ever messages you again with “Hey stranger 👀,” just know…

She’s not back for closure.

She’s back for the sequel.