Just Be Yourself

A while back, I was getting ready for a job interview — the kind you hype yourself up for like it’s the Super Bowl, except instead of a helmet and jersey, you’ve got a blazer that doesn’t quite fit and Wi-Fi that only works when you whisper nice things to the router.

I was nervous. Polished. Practiced.

And then someone — I think it was my cousin, or a well-meaning person with zero actual experience in corporate trauma — looked at me with gentle confidence and said:

“Just be yourself.”

Oh.

Be myself?

Ma’am.

The “myself” you’re referring to is currently sleep-deprived, running on 3 cups of coffee and one spiraling internal monologue about whether my Zoom background says “thought leader” or “hostage.”

But okay. Fine. I’ll try.

ACT I: The Warm-Up Lie

The interviewer logs in.

She smiles like someone who’s already read 147 resumes and forgotten mine.

I smile back like a man trying to hide the existential crisis in his eyes.

She says:

“Let’s start with a fun question: If you were an animal, what would you be?”

I blinked.

Be yourself, I thought.

So I said: “Honestly? Probably a raccoon. Scrappy. Resourceful. Good under pressure. Occasionally digging through trash for opportunities.”

She did not laugh.

She just nodded and typed something. Probably: “Possible trash digger. 🚩”

ACT II: Oversharing Is Not a Skillset

Then came the “Tell me about a time you overcame a challenge” question.

Ah yes. The golden prompt. The one we’ve all practiced like a TED Talk.

Except that day, “myself” decided vulnerability was trending.

So I told her about the time I got laid off on a Tuesday, got a flat tire in the parking lot, cried at a gas station, and then still helped a stranger jump their car because “helping people is who I am.”

She looked concerned.

I was proud.

HR was confused.

ACT III: The Self-Destruct Button

She closed with:

“Do you have any questions for us?”

Oh I had questions.

But “myself” was on a roll, so I said:

“Yes, just one. What’s the company’s stance on toxic positivity, ghosting candidates, and managers who use buzzwords but can’t lead a Zoom call without screen-sharing their grocery list?”

She blinked.

I smiled.

And just like that — the interview ended.

Post-Interview Debrief:

Did I get the job?

No.

Did I get ghosted after a 4-round process where I was told I was “top of the list”?

Yes.

But did I learn a valuable lesson?

Also no.

Because next week, I’ve got another interview.

And this time? I’m bringing my raccoon energy and a cup of brutal honesty.

Because being yourself in this job market?

It might not land the role.

But at least you get to show up — fully caffeinated, a little unhinged, and unapologetically you.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a follow-up email to send.

And yes… I’m still gonna sign it:

“Warmest Regards, Future Raccoon of Your Dreams.” 🦝