Interview with the Chatbot

Interviews in 2025 aren’t with people anymore. Nope. Now we get chatbots. And not even the cute kind that might offer you a discount code or tell you a dad joke. I’m talking about bots with the personality of a soggy cardboard box.

You open your laptop, log in to the interview, and there it is: “Hi! I’m TalentBot3000. Let’s get started!”

TalentBot3000 proceeds to ask you the classics:

“What is your biggest weakness?”

You type: “I care too much.”

TalentBot3000: “Syntax error. Please use fewer feelings.”

Next question:

“Why do you want to work here?”

You try to sound inspired: “I admire your mission and your dedication to innovation.”

TalentBot3000: “Generic detected. Please insert buzzwords.”

So you throw in “synergy,” “disrupt,” “hypergrowth,” and “value-add.” The bot responds: “Congratulations! You’ve unlocked Corporate Bingo Level 1.”

Then it wants you to do a timed logic puzzle: “How many ping pong balls fit in a 747?”

You consider typing, “I don’t know, but I’ll call you from the airport and let you know after my meltdown.” Instead, you write a random number and pray to the ghost of Steve Jobs.

After that, you’re invited to record a video answer. The screen counts down: 3… 2… 1… GO!

You suddenly forget how to use words. Your brain freezes, your eye starts twitching, and you stare at yourself like a raccoon caught in headlights.

TalentBot3000 interrupts: “You appear stressed. Please try to look more authentic.”

Oh! Let me just press my “authentic” button real quick.

By the end, you’re sweating through your shirt, your self-esteem is on life support, and you’re pretty sure the bot judged your houseplants in the background.

Then you get the follow-up email: “Thank you for interviewing! We loved getting to know you.”

Did you, though? Because I don’t think TalentBot3000 is capable of love.

Two days later: “We’ve decided to move forward with another candidate.”

You reread it, wondering which keyword you missed. “Was it because I didn’t say ‘pivot’ enough? Should I have thrown in ‘blockchain’ for fun?”

Meanwhile, LinkedIn influencers are posting: “Got my dream job after 3 interviews! Manifest and stay positive!”

You’re over here trying to manifest a working brain cell and the courage to face another bot.

You start missing real interviews — awkward small talk about weather, the sweaty handshake, the weird office art you pretended to admire. Anything but this robotic dystopia.

I imagine a future where your final round interview is just an AI hologram asking, “Tell me about a time you overcame adversity,” while also scanning your fridge and silently judging your snack choices.

But here’s the thing: no matter how many bots try to measure us, they’ll never capture the real spark — the human awkwardness, the humor, the heart. The stuff that actually makes us worth hiring in the first place.

So yeah, interviews in 2025 might feel like a bad sci-fi sequel. But don’t forget — you’re more than an algorithm’s verdict. You’re a one-of-a-kind story, not a spreadsheet entry.

Keep showing up, keep laughing, and keep being gloriously, imperfectly human. TalentBot3000 could never.