Human Resources, But Make It Netflix: Why I Should Never Run HR

So someone asked me the other day, “Have you ever considered a job in HR?” And let me tell you, that’s a dangerous question. Because the idea of me working in Human Resources is both terrifying and oddly poetic. Half-joking or not, imagine a world where I’m the one running HR. That’s not a department anymore, that’s a full blown Netflix limited series.

Episode 1: The Job Posting Dating Game

First off, my job postings would be legendary. None of this vague, corporate bingo card nonsense like “must be a self-starter who thrives in a fast-paced environment.” No, my postings would sound like actual dating profiles:

“Looking for someone who won’t quit after three weeks. Must tolerate coffee that tastes like sadness and meetings that could’ve been emails. If you enjoy chaos sprinkled with occasional free pizza, we may be a match.”

Swipe right if interested.

Episode 2: Interview Night Live

The interview process? Forget the traditional “tell me about yourself” snoozefest. Under my rule, interviews would be done game show style.

• Round One: Applicants spin a wheel of buzzwords (synergy, alignment, innovation) and try to use them all in a sentence without laughing.

• Round Two: A lightning round where they explain why they want to work here, knowing full well they don’t.

• Final Round: Karaoke. Because honestly, if you can’t belt “Don’t Stop Believin’” in front of strangers, how are you going to survive quarterly performance reviews?

Episode 3: The Breakup Letters Nobody Wanted

Rejection emails? Oh, those would be my masterpiece. No more robotic “We went with another candidate.” Mine would say things like:

• “We had a strong pool of candidates, and by strong, we mean one guy who knew Excel macros. You did not.”

• “It’s not you, it’s us. Mostly us. Our budget was actually imaginary. Best of luck.”

At least you’d laugh through the tears.

Episode 4: Performance Reviews With Punchlines

Traditional HR calls it “constructive feedback.” My version? Brutal honesty with flair.

• “Strengths: you keep this place running.”

• “Areas for improvement: stop answering emails at 2 AM, you’re making the rest of us look bad.”

See? Motivating and slightly insulting, a corporate love language.

Episode 5: The Onboarding Games

Even onboarding would be a spectacle. Instead of a boring slideshow on company values, I’d give new hires a survival kit:

• Noise-cancelling headphones.

• A stress ball shaped like the CEO’s head.

• A flowchart titled “Who Actually Approves Your PTO.”

Day one would end with a team-building exercise called “Find the Hidden Stapler.” Spoiler: it’s never in the same place twice.

Season Finale: Corporate Collapse

But let’s be honest, if I worked in HR, the whole system would collapse within a week. Candidates would start applying just for the entertainment value. Employees would show up to work wondering what episode they were on. And corporate leadership would be quietly panicking, whispering, “Why are exit interviews going viral?”

So no, I won’t be applying for HR anytime soon. But the thought of it? Hilarious. Because HR isn’t just about policies and payroll, it’s the ultimate stage for human comedy. And let’s face it, the hiring process in 2025 is already one giant reality show. All I’d be doing is making it official.

So if you ever see me running HR, buckle up. It won’t be Human Resources anymore. It’ll be Human Revelations. And everyone’s invited.