Guess the next Question

Recently, I started playing a game on my Zoom interviews called “Guess the Next Question” — Bonus Points Edition.

Let’s be honest: job interviews today feel like a weird hybrid of Jeopardy, Survivor, and that fever dream you have at 3 a.m. after too many slices of leftover pizza.

After countless interviews, I realized I needed a coping mechanism beyond endlessly rehearsing my “passionate but chill” facial expression and obsessing over my strategically placed bookshelf in the background.

So, I invented a game: Guess the Next Question.

The rules are simple: predict what question the interviewer will toss your way next. Bonus points for guessing the exact wording or the weird curveball variations.

For example:

Interviewer: “So, tell me about yourself.”

Me, internally: “Ah yes, the classic opener. Now they’ll move to strengths, weaknesses, or teamwork next.”

Bonus points if I guess the exact phrasing: “What’s your greatest weakness?” (And no, you can’t say “I care too much” or “I’m a perfectionist” unless you want to see your interviewer’s soul leave their body.)

Extra bonus points if they throw in the modern twist: “Tell me about a time you failed and what you learned from it.” You can practically hear the emotional violin music swelling in the background.

Then there’s my favorite:

Interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

Me, in my head: “In a cabin in the woods with 12 rescue dogs and zero Slack notifications.”

Instead, I say: “Continuing to grow in a dynamic, purpose-driven environment.”

And of course, the final round:

“Do you have any questions for us?”

This is where the true chaos begins. The correct strategy is to nod thoughtfully and ask something deep and culture-related: “What does success look like for this role in the first 90 days?”

But internally, I’m dying to ask:

— Do you celebrate birthdays with sheet cake or cupcakes?

— How many meetings could actually be emails?

— What’s your unofficial policy on pajama bottoms during Zoom calls?

Playing this game turns the existential dread of the job search into a sport. It gives me a sense of control over an otherwise soul-crushing process that often feels like being on The Bachelor — except instead of a rose, you get an auto-rejection email at 2 a.m.

Zoom interviews have their own special challenges: the laggy internet, the frozen screens, the dog barking at a squirrel mid-answer, and trying not to look at yourself in that tiny corner box where you appear to be slowly melting.

Yet somehow, we keep showing up. We keep putting on our “I’m totally fine” faces, guessing the next question, and pretending our Wi-Fi isn’t hanging on by a single thread.

Because beneath the jokes and awkward pauses, there’s something quietly heroic about it. It’s proof that even when we feel unseen or unheard, we still dare to put ourselves out there.

So, to all my fellow players of “Guess the Next Question” — I see you. May your answers be smooth, your internet stable, and your bonus points plentiful.

And remember: no matter how many times you hear “we went with another candidate,” you’re still leveling up in ways a bot can’t measure.

Onward, brave interview warriors. Let the games continue.