Guess my Religion…?

You ever have one of those interviews where the hiring manager is clearly trying to figure out your religion—without actually asking what your religion is?

Because I have.

And it felt less like an interview and more like I accidentally wandered into a game show called:

“Guess That Faith!”

So I’m sitting there, dressed respectfully, resume polished, ready to talk KPIs and leadership strategy.

And the hiring manager—let’s call her Linda—is giving me this look like she’s scanning my soul for denominational affiliations.

We start off normal enough.

“Tell me about yourself.”

“Walk me through your experience.”

All the hits.

And then it starts.

Linda leans in and goes,

“So… Alex, what are you doing this Sunday?”

Now, I pause.

Because that question isn’t about availability.

That’s a spiritual landmine wrapped in casual brunch energy.

I say, “Just relaxing, maybe spending time with family.”

She nods slowly. “Ah, nice. Family time is very important.

Any specific family traditions? Like… maybe a weekly gathering… around, say, a building… with, perhaps, a steeple?”

Ma’am. Just say “church.”

But I smile and say, “Yeah, we have some traditions. We try to rest, reset. You know, keep it peaceful.”

She scribbles something in her notes. Probably: “Possible Sabbath observer? Still unclear.”

Then she asks,

“How do you feel about working holidays?”

I say, “Depends on the holiday.”

She says, “Oh? Which ones are meaningful to you?”

Oh, Linda.

You want me to say Christmas, Easter, Yom Kippur, Ramadan, or Diwali so bad.

Instead I say,

“Honestly, Arbor Day really speaks to me. Big tree guy.”

At this point she looks at me like I just quoted scripture from the Gospel of Bob Ross.

Then comes the kicker.

She leans back, folds her hands, and goes,

“I just find that people with a strong moral compass tend to thrive in our environment.”

Okay.

Now we’re in full theological Jeopardy.

I respond, “Absolutely. I think values matter more than titles. A life of integrity speaks louder than any label.”

She stares. Blinks. Writes: “Possibly spiritual. Still evasive.”

We wrap the interview.

She thanks me. I thank her.

She hands me a brochure for the company that mysteriously includes a photo of her small group Bible study on the back page.

A week later, I get the rejection email.

“We’ve decided to move forward with a candidate whose background more closely aligns with our values.”

Not qualifications.

Values.

Which is code for: “We’re still not sure if you’re Baptist, Buddhist, or just really into trees.”

Look, I’m not ashamed of my faith.

But there’s a difference between curiosity and a covert spiritual interrogation at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday.

So the next time I sense that vibe in an interview?

I’m just going to lean forward, smile, and say:

“Let me tell you about my personal Lord and Savior—coffee.”

Because whether you pray in pews, on rugs, in silence, or over spreadsheets…

you should never need a decoder ring to land a job.