Born to inspire others: Promoted by Mistake

Toxic work culture is real.

And unfortunately, it’s usually led by someone who still thinks leadership means yelling louder than the broken copier and scheduling back-to-back meetings during lunch.

I once worked under a manager—let’s call her Brenda (because Karen is busy filing policy violations elsewhere). Brenda believed in three things:

1. Micromanaging

2. Corporate buzzwords

3. And asserting dominance via CC’ing the entire company on emails that didn’t need to exist.

Her office was a shrine to chaos.

Sticky notes everywhere. A framed quote that said “Teamwork Makes the Dream Work” right above a list of people she’d “keep an eye on.”

Every Monday she held what she called a “stand-up huddle,” which was just us standing in a circle while she told us how disappointed she was.

While eating a granola bar.

Loudly.

She once gave someone a write-up for being “too quiet on Slack.”

She told me I wasn’t “smiling enough in spreadsheets.”

Ma’am. It’s Excel, not a Pixar film.

At one point, she said,

“We’re not a family. We’re a high-performing machine.”

Then two days later, she told us,

“We’re not coworkers. We’re family.”

I think she just had a random buzzword generator in her brain.

Everything was an emergency.

She once sent an email marked “URGENT” because someone reordered printer paper without her approval.

She called it a “supply chain breach.”

We called it Tuesday.

Meetings were constant.

She’d say things like,

“Let’s circle back on this offline after our sync so we’re aligned before the next touchpoint.”

Which meant:

“I didn’t understand any of that but I want to sound like a TED Talk.”

She printed out productivity charts and taped them to the fridge like we were underperforming toddlers.

Once, I coughed during a Zoom call and she said,

“Let’s try to bring our best selves to the meeting.”

Eventually, someone brought up concerns to HR.

Brenda responded by posting a “motivational” quote in the breakroom that said:

“If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the building.”

We were on the second floor. It felt… threatening.

Morale dropped faster than her approval rating.

Turnover got so bad that IT just started issuing laptops with farewell letters pre-installed.

When I finally left, she said,

“Wow. Didn’t see that coming.”

Really? I submitted my two-week notice via PowerPoint titled

“Why I’m Leaving: A Dramatic Retelling.”

Slide 1: A gif of someone running.

Slide 2: Brenda’s quotes in Comic Sans.

Slide 3: Me, holding coffee and peace.

The truth is, not every boss is a leader.

Some just like the title.

The power.

The thrill of assigning weekend tasks at 4:59 PM on a Friday.

But leadership?

Leadership is listening.

It’s trust.

It’s not threatening to “circle back” to your soul.

So if you’re under a Brenda, remember:

You’re not the problem.

The system is.

And one day, when you’re leading with kindness and clarity, she’ll still be yelling at someone for bolding the wrong cells.

Stay strong, spreadsheet warrior.

We believe in your eventual exit.