Apply or Cry

So I get this text from a friend this morning that says:

“Let’s play a game. Apply to 10 jobs and see how many send you a rejection email within 24 hours. Whoever gets the most… wins!”

Wins what, you ask?

A sense of fulfillment?

A ticket to Narnia?

A complimentary therapist named Brenda who specializes in “career limbo”?

No.

The prize is—you guessed it—the chance to try again tomorrow.

Like some twisted version of Groundhog Day but instead of waking up to Sonny & Cher, you wake up to “Thanks for your interest, but…”

Naturally, I took the bait. I’m competitive. And unemployed. So this was basically the Olympics for people who have multiple résumé formats saved as “final_final_THIS_ONE_reallyFINAL.docx.”

I applied to 12 roles before I finished brushing my teeth.

By the time I rinsed my mouth out, I had 3 rejection emails.

One of them had the audacity to start with:

“We appreciate your impressive background…”

Impressive??

Sir, you ghosted me faster than a bad Tinder match.

Don’t butter me up just to send my résumé to the same digital purgatory where old MySpace profiles go to die.

Another company said,

“We’ll keep your résumé on file for future consideration.”

What file?

Let’s be real.

That “file” is a Google Drive folder labeled “Maybe?” that hasn’t been opened since the Obama administration.

And the best one?

A rejection that arrived before their confirmation email.

Which means my application time-traveled and was rejected in the past.

I’m not even mad. That’s impressive.

I texted my friend back:

“Do I win a prize or just more character development?”

She said,

“Yes. And maybe an extra shot of espresso and a long walk to cry in peace.”

This job hunt isn’t a process anymore—it’s a full-on game show.

Welcome to:

“Who Wants to Be Employed?”

Starring: Me.

Featuring:

– 14 job boards

– 9 emotional breakdowns

– A recruiter named Kayla who said I had “great energy” before never speaking to me again

Every rejection is now a bingo square.

Got rejected with no reason? ✅

Got ghosted after three interviews? ✅

Got an auto-response in Comic Sans? ✅ (Yes, that happened.)

At this point, I’ve got enough transferable skills to run a small country, and enough rejection emails to wallpaper my apartment.

And yet, somehow… I’m still applying.

Still updating my résumé.

Still whispering “maybe this one’s different” like it’s a rom-com and not a corporate trauma saga.

Because hope? It’s ridiculous.

But it’s also the only thing that makes you open your laptop again the next day.

So if you’re also playing this game—just know you’re not alone.

We might not win the prize.

But we will win the story.

And maybe someday, we’ll cash it in for a job offer, a book deal, or at the very least… a nap.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got seven more jobs to apply to before dinner.

Game on.